


White Ambers

by WanderlustNovak



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Destiel mentioned, Multi, Some angst, some superwholock
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-03-03 02:19:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2834582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WanderlustNovak/pseuds/WanderlustNovak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jane and Susan have only had themselves their whole lives. Every decade they shed their skin and bones and wake up with new bodies, thing is that Jane remembers everything that's happened before and Susan only remembers the day of their death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Jane lurked inside the bunker ever so slowly. Her eyelids fluttered and she had a cruel smile tugging at her lips. “Mommy?” Susan asked. Jane opened her eyes and looked at Susan with hateful eyes “I am not your mother.” Jane said coldly. “But Jane I love like a mother.” She argued softly, but Jane’s heart had frozen solid and shattered away. She scoffed at the child “You need to have a mother know how to love a mother.” Jane walked away and left Susan there sobbing.  

“I hate you!” She choked out, dropping to her knees and breathing hard. “No you don’t.” Jane said looking at the little girl who was having a breakdown. She felt nothing. Jane had no guilt, no remorse and the worst thing was that after everything that happened she didn’t care. She walked away and left her alone.

Susan hugged her knees to her chest until she couldn’t breathe. She began to sing a poem that Jane used to tell her when she couldn’t sleep.

Run little girl

Run far away

You’re almost free.

Just one more step.

Run little girl

Run far away

Your father hunts you.

Your mother is dead.

Dumb little girl

You didn’t run.

Your father found you.

You're finally dead.

Jane pulled out a pack of cigarettes and smoked it whole. Dean had stopped nagging her to quit smoking inside a long time ago and finally left her alone. She curled up on her bed and stopped thinking. In a frenzy to feel something Jane slit her throat and put her hand over the warm blood lovingly. A man with golden hair and golden eyes smirked at her.

“Do you really think I’d let you go that easily, Jane Doe?”


	2. Jane Doe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Origin Story of Jane Doe

Her dress was tighter than normal. Eyes were lined with kohl, looking at her reflection afraid that if she cried she’d ruin it. Today, she was going to sing to gods, for her voice can make a thousand men fall to their knees and beg for more. She was so nervous she could barely register the air flowing through her. Her mother entered the room and looked at her with those cold eyes.  

"What are you think you’re doing  just standing there? Warm up.” She scolded. “Useless.” She muttered. Jane’s eyes began to water. _She's right, you know._ A tiny voice answered.  _She doesn't love you. She's only using you._   

Immediately she begin warming up her voice. The air was grew thin around them. _Please be proud. Please love me._ The girl thought

“If you ruin this I never want to see you again.”

 The girl didn't answer. She didn't even glance at her mother.

She stood in front in the beautiful stage that was prepared for her. In front of her there sat the gods. Some of them were curious, most were bored and uninterested but there was one who made her skin crawl. Close to the end of the table. His golden eyes were piercing through her, examining her. Like the others he was breathtakingly beautiful, but his eyes... He looked at her in a way that you can only describe as lustful. Then he smiled at as if to say _Go on, we’re waiting._

 _It doesn’t matter anymore_. She thought before she sang. Her voice came out as wistful, gentle, but powerful at the same time. Everything in the room began to float. The liquid in the cups made odd shapes and not a single speck of wine fell on the tablecloth.  She opened her eyes. Now she had gotten her attention. She smirked and raised her arms. She actually surprised the gods, which Valhalla knows, isn’t easy. Her voiced came out in waves. Nothing could have stopped her in this moment. She finished and the room was quiet. No applause. No words of kindness. She had accomplished exactly what she wanted and the golden eyed god pulled his lips into a smirk and winked at her. She took a bow and left.

Her mother greeted her with a slap. “You changed the words. Is your memory failing?” The girl held her cheek “Does it matter?” She answered dryly “What did you just say to me?” The mother demanded and the girl looked at her with an empty stare “Does it matter?” She replied, mostly because she was afraid of her but at that moment it didn’t matter. Even if she would regret it later. The mother lifted her chin at her and smiled “You did good. I’m proud.” She finally admitted.

**_I’m proud._ **

Her mom was proud.

She stopped breathing.

**_I’m proud._ **

The girl couldn’t stop thinking those words over and over again.

She was proud of her.

**_I’m proud._ **

The tears streamed right out her eyes “Thank you, Mother.” She said softly turning away and wiping her eyes slowly so she doesn’t ruin her makeup.

* * *

 

The first thing she did was remove her dress when she entered her room. The second thing she did was see the golden eyed god laying on her bed. “Shouldn’t you have something nicer?” He said whilst pawing at it. This was not the first time this had happened. “May I know how much I’m worth tonight?” She asked not daring to look at his eyes. He shot her a coy smile “Nothing at all, actually. I came here on my own.” _For a god you’d think he’d be taller._ She mused

He touched her face softly “My name is Loki. From now on you belong to me.” He said. The girl bowed her head. “You will respond to Jane Doe now, do you understand?” He growled before letting her go. She stayed quiet “That’s my good girl.” He smiled and together they lay together in bed.

Loki wrapped his leg around her and in a blink of an eye they were in a different, much more comfortable bed. A servant woman played the harps as he stood up and disappeared.

Jane Doe was bathed, clothed and fed. They examined her separately as they decided what to do with the insolent girl. "Does have no regard with all these dolls. We're running out of places to put them." One muttered as he pawed at Jane's ribs. Naked and exposed to all the men in the castle, she was taken to a room filled with women. One of them took her by the hand and traced a hand through her whole body. Jane felt her breath hitch as the woman kissed her neck. She felt a mixture of things; arousal, nervousness and embarrassment were at the top, but mostly she didn’t know what to do. She’d never felt so alive. The woman felt the same way as Jane did. She’d done this countless times, but oh gods has she never felt her body buzz the way it did that day. Loki sat and watched “Retaliate.” He ordered and Jane did.

Later that week the woman came to her bringing her food. “Come with me.” She had said and Jane did. The woman kissed her lips softly “I am Tamra.” She said, flicking her copper hair over her shoulder. Her eyes were a light brown that seemed to glow against her honey dew skin “I am Jane.” She answered looking at Tamara’s big, beautiful, soft, rosy lips.

That was the beginning of their painfully short love affair.

Every night Jane sang to the gods whilst they ate. Then Tamra wasn’t careful and kissed her out in the open. One of the slaves saw it. Soon all of them knew and ignored them both. Tamara was starved out. Loki found out the day that Jane sang a song to Tamra. He was devastated. After everything he had done for her! She chose a whore instead of a God!

Tamra was tortured, raped and in the end, died of starvation. Jane was forced to watch this happen as her punishment. Neither of them regret what they did, but they wondered if it was worth it. “I wish it was me.” Jane said, tears falling on her Tamra's face. “I hate it when you cry.” Tamra said weakly. Her eyes closed slowly and Jane knew what was going to happen “I love you.” She whispered as Tamra took her last air. Loki appeared and kicked her body out of Jane's ams.

“How dare you try to to replace me with some filthy whore?” He demanded holding her face to look at him. “I’m not going to beg on my knees and ask for your forgiveness.” Jane said not bothering to lift her eyes to look at him. He pushed her away in disgust. She knelt in front of the body of her lover and wept. “Why couldn’t you just take me instead?” She cried looking at the lifeless eyes of Tamra. “I loved her more than I will ever love you.” She said lowly.

Now she was angry.

“Why couldn’t you just let me have her?!” She screamed wiping her eyes and looking at him venomously “I did everything _, everything_ , you wanted. You took me from the only thing I had.” She raged, but Loki didn't care for her anymore. She thrashed and screamed and cursed and cried, but nothing would make it better. She had a hole in her heart, and it wasn’t leaving anytime soon.

For days, weeks, months she was beaten and starved kept at the brink of life. The dungeon was cold and the thin cloth that she was wearing barely covered the freezing girl.

Then Loki brought with him a child. "You're free Jane Doe." He said "Where's my mother?” She demanded "Dead." Jane felt relief, oddly. her mother didn't love her anyways.

He continues "For your betrayal you cannot sing. If you do you’ll shall bring great pain to no one but yourself. You’ll live forever. No child will come from your womb. Every decade you will die, shed your body and wear another face. Same as her. You'll remember everything that had happened to you, but this child will not." He touched the girl's hair "Wherever you go you'll find her. She is etched to your soul. Your death will be excruciating. Every fiber of your body will feel it. Now leave, I have no use for you anymore." He finished and with a snap of his fingers the chain fell to the floor and Jane dropped to her knees.

“You’ll never be good enough.” She said defiantly. “Not in the sack, not in love.”

To defy him one last time she was going to say her name, but she couldn’t even remember it. Her eyes widened “What’s my name?” Loki looked over his shoulder “What’s wrong?” He mocked “Can’t remember?” 

"Loki!"She screamed as he left "I'm going to find out. I'm going to know. I will look you in the eyes and tell you my name even if it's the last thing I do!" She finished.

The little girl approached Jane’s hunched body unafraid. She was curious. She walked toward her and held her hand out. Jane bared her grimy teeth "What do you want." "The nice man told me my name was Susan. I have clothes for you." Jane took her hand. The only thing she could feel was her heart beat. Susan’s hands were dirty and her eyes were a muddy brown "Jane." She said softly as the girl wiped the tears from her face and walked with her "He told me you're my mommy." She started and that's when she saw it. The same lunar that she saw thousands of times in her mother’s chest.

 Mother? Jane thought.


End file.
